Determined to seek out any sign of fresh talent in Iceland’s blazing music scene, Humanitarian Phil Power packed his duffle and paved a trail across the Atlantic to the pristine shores of Iceland.

On his arrival, Power quickly realized he was no longer in Kansas when a cold pint of local Icelandic beer set him back $20. Realizing a more economical solution had to be found, Power swapped his collection of buffalo nickels for a cooler of beers and several drink tickets.

Titled the Airwaves Festival, a collection of Icelandic bands and upper crust international acts fought off the cold to entertain Power and win his approval. By the intoxicating look in Power’s eyes, the bands could celebrate a hard fought victory or the fact that Phil wasn’t used to the 22 proof beer.

A closing party was in order. Due to the refrigerator like conditions, the festivities were held indoors at the local soccer stadium that could of easily doubled as a high school gymnasium.

Not even monumental sets by Fatboy Slim and Gus Gus could disguise the fact that most of the crowd felt naked without a carnation and a 11th grader on their arm.

Seeing everything you could see in 8 days, Power left with a sore liver and pockets full of a currency that he still can’t configure into US dollars.

As rumors of Power’s departure circled the city of Reykjavik, locals were seen wondering out loud if the puppet might ever return. Power was later seen in the airplane checking Iceland off the Been There/Done That list.

Click Image 4 More Photos

Phil Power can count on one-toe reasons to visit Eugene, Oregon. That one reason happens to be a multi-million dollar ad campaign that failed to bring UO football future glory, a national ranking or even a top five finish in their own division.

Earlier this year, Powers appeared overjoyed that his old university had purchased high profile billboard locations to tout their up and coming athletic programs. University of Oregon Football carried this torch by losing five of six to wrap the season and unleash a mighty flood of unneeded attention and embarrassment to Phil and the University of Oregon Sport programs.

Powers felt that he deserved partial blame since he closed down his highly popular magic mushroom farm tour last April that many believe was the X factor in last year’s teams success.

Fed-up and tie-dye free, Capitol Hill socialite Phil Power, was spotted recently in a fresh pair of kicks marching to the words of Jesse Jackson and Susan Sarandon to protest the fucked up activities courtesy of the US Government.

Iraq, the 3rd largest Oil producing country in the world, will soon be legally raped so Bush and cabinet can cash in on a nice piece of Ass($). Phil believes Bush loves Oil almost as much as he loves war.

Although traditional hippies provided the main pipeline, several new roads were constructed in the youth and average joe categories. Power closed his brief podium appearance with a juggling act that captivated the audience and provide a lighthearted moment in what turned out to be an emotional day.

Once long time Buds, Phil Power and Kong King now only exchange words through overpaid legal consul. The problem? After clocking in over 500 hours of Ass sittin’ time waiting on Kong King, Power decided to launch CPT Clothing. Popular among the sector that feels Phil’s frustrations, CPT Clothing (Comfortable Clothing to wear while your waiting for your black friends) would focus on high quality, cutting edge design and a built in 2-way GPS locator to properly locate Kong King as the surplus minutes piled up. Unannounced, King had patented his own label under a similar name, CPT Clothing (Comfortable Clothing to wear while your waiting for you caucasian friends), weeks earlier.

Poetic Injustice? Power considers it so. Raising funds by selling his most prized possessions (red dune buggy and Mary Kate’s virginity) to pay legal fees, Power planned to flip the script on King with a 5 billion dollar copyright infringement suit. King’s people stated Power doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Kong and Power comrades again? At time of print Power announced to the judge and King’s attorneys that he wanted to stop this madness and offered to purchase the CPT Clothing name off Kong King and offer Kong 60% equity in a line of Caucasian People Time reversible jerseys and beanies. Nowhere to be found, King’s rebuttal has been postponed until a later date that Kong plans not to miss again.

Dolly Parton’s name has long been synonymous with good times, beautiful music and giant knockers. Most figured she died in a freak hot tub accident back in ‘89 and could only be found on TNT every 5-6 months. Most thought wrong.

Rumors spread out west this past year that Dolly Parton was alive and in fact managing a Dolly Parton Amusement Park deep in the Smoky Hills of Tennessee. Believing this was yet another hollow urban legend, Phil Power, roller coaster junkie and all around fun guy, decided to wet his appetite on this piece of southern hospitality and make the trip down south.

The Smoky Hills reminded Power of a cat in heat during the middle of the night- loud and unpleasant. After passing 10 million fast food joints, a handful of Native American operated casinos / firework stands and Sock World, Power found a giant billboard with a floating head similar to Parton’s own. After driving through a maze of RV’s, Power reached Dollywood. Dashing into the park, Power was unavailable for comment over the next two hours. Only when he stumbled out 2 hours later, did the full story come out.

Power said he hadn’t so much fun since tossing salad in prison. After paying a $40 entry fee and loading up on Dolly Dollars, Power entered a world with few rides and fewer restrooms. Instead of completely trashing this waste of space with sharp words, Power simply stated that this over-hyped Arts and Crafts festival that catered to the old and completely insane truly blew. Any kid that wanted to visit Dollywood would be better off consuming an entire 10 wash serving of Tide while being subjected to a highlight reel of post-Seinfeld Jason Alexander bloopers.

Phil jumped into his SUV, slapped Kong King for forgetting to put up the car bra and left the scene without saying any final words. The look of disgust on his distorted face filled in the blanks.